Wordplay Gone Berserk!

* This paper was a result of trying to reach the requirement of making a 2,000- word commentary paper based on two films shown in the subject, Social Sciences and Philosophy 3, concerning the Behavioral Sciences. Guide Questions were given, leaving the writer in a state of "nosebleed". Moreover, his words weren’t enough to fill the prerequisite, so he turned to word blabbering. Thus, he ended up with a 2, 946-word paper.

* Grammatical errors are still evident in this paper.

* World Population, Birth Rate, and Death Rate Figures: www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world -factbook/geos/xx.htm

A wake-up call would be the proper way to describe “Blood Diamond” and “An Inconvenient Truth”, but these just prove that some of us have really linkages with monkeys. It is indeed true that there are differences amongst people, as shown on the films. And these may be our bases who are “closer” to the ape ancestry or just simply not!

A divine person is said to have created us, but science refuses to believe this by saying that humankind has been a product of evolution from a chain of “ape ancestry”— the Neanderthals, Australopithecus africanus, Homo erectus, and finally our taxonomic classification: the Homo sapiens. But still, pundits claim that there is a missing link, but later on said that, after finding “Lucy”, the connection between apes and us has been found. This is still under debate until now though as some still refuse to believe the possibility.

But now, what separates a man from an ape? Perhaps it is intelligence? Maybe it is their actions. Monkeys tend to be more careless than humans, and this is the reason why in these two films, men are comparable to apes.

But deviating away from that comparison a little, the two movies have also shown what type of society we have now because of the gross behavior of humanity: promoting gender discrimination, being slapdash to the environment, and contributing to the welfare of terrorists through stealing. Illegal and disappointing as they may be, but these are still true in society.

To understand this more, there is what we call Social Sciences, which according to Hunt and Collander (1999), is “a system of knowledge about the nature, growth, and functioning of human societies.” Moreover, it is “the field of human knowledge that deals with all aspects of group life.” There are also various areas to which a person can be subjected to be studied.

For example, Psychology can be used in understanding the minds of people. The trait of one person can either be innate or natural, or it has been nurtured by the society. Now, why would a person contribute to terrorists? Perhaps his family oriented him about the goals of these terrorists, and it has shaped his mind to help them. He might have the perception that terrorists are the unsung heroes of his land and only them could alleviate the crises. Is greediness and being a terrorist natural to man or is it nurtured? Well, it is said that man is naturally greedy, but this must be a fallacy for what made man greedy is not the genes that he inherited from his parents nor did he self-impose it on him for not much of a reason, rather it is the framework of society that has influenced him to be one. But man is naturally helpful; although it may be limited depending on the picture society has painted to how much help one should give to different types of people. He may help the terrorists big time by giving them all the support they need like money and shelter. But he may help the government too, but not like the one he has given the terrorists. He might give money, but it may not be tantamount to the one he gave his “unsung heroes”.

Now, why are people careless to the environment? Economics can enlighten us with this one, as it is the study made on the choices people make in everyday lives based on their needs. Because of these needs; people have adopted many inventions whether through diffusion or acculturation that have either helped the economy of a country or the other way around. Because of irresponsibility, thinking that throwing things around is okay and that resources are abundant, thus producing goods is not a problem, people learned to abuse without knowing the consequences. With increasing demand, more factories may be needed to supply the needs, thus increasing carbon dioxide emissions that deplete the ozone layer, leading to global warming. Now, man is more concerned to meet his needs that scarce resources are scarcer or nothing! Alternate resources do help, but these too may lead to another problem, or worse, world destruction.

And lastly, how about gender discrimination? How and why did it happen before and up until now? History informs us that past events can help us improve the status quo, or the present situation, because we are able to learn about them, and in order for bad things not to happen again, we can verify the mistakes once we have identified them, thus this field in social science can help us understand events and happenings that are occurring right before our very eyes. In the past, people were divided into groups, like forming a system like the Caste. People were categorized by how much wealth they have and by the power they exude. This gave birth to having slaves, a classification which deprived the people belonging to this group of comfort because not even all of their basic needs are met.

But then this later on evolved, as gender also became a distinguishing factor as well in grouping people, saying that men are more powerful than women. And since then on, women were imprisoned within the house as ordinary wives doing nothing but house chores and handicrafts. And this still persists now as some are still trapped into thinking that women are just subordinates to men and are not equivalent, although this grouping is now open, meaning that women can later on be equals to men once they have proven that they can also do what their counterparts can.

Other areas in Social Science are also be important in understanding our society namely Anthropology, Sociology, Geography, and Political Science.

In “Blood Diamond”, the society was depicted as what Leonardo DiCaprio said, “killing is a way of life.” People are not just enslaved, but maltreated and discriminated by color, and ethnicity. Families are torn apart by politics, and the continuous “production” of “blood diamonds”. Due to advancement in technology, crimes can be made a secret, leaving the innocent ones punished and the culprits unpunished.

This society is way much different in others, as diamond can only be found in chosen areas of the globe. But it does not differ much on the brutality that people in it experience due to dirty politicking. For example, here in the Philippines, seventy to ninety percent of those who are thrown into jail are innocent; leaving those supposed-to-be criminals, free to do more misdemeanors.

In “An Inconvenient Truth”, on the other hand, depicted society as being lackadaisical, which now faces the consequences of its actions— Global Warming. Because most are just concerned of becoming rich, they do not care how their production could affect Mother Earth. Because people are so engrossed of being globalized, they fail to take into consideration the vital role of the environment in the lives of mankind.

This does not differ much in societies found in different places, as the problem on global warming is a predicament of the humanity. It is, after all, due to our cumulative irresponsibleness to the environment since then.

Our society now, thus, is a product of the different societies or ‘ages’ that the world has undergone: the Stone Age, the Middle Ages, and the Renaissance, to name a few. Through these periods, the human race has undergone different developments coupled with predicaments. An example would be the case of Global Warming. But some injustices are still continued in societies today like racial prejudice. For example the “Diamond age”, the blacks were still made into slaves just to dig for diamonds, which can be bartered to acquire money. So why the blacks? It was because in history, there was bias based on color and race. Some were discriminated if he or she does not look like the rest. Moreover, blacks were also subjected to verbal attacks since people called them names, and also they were given no personal right, even by the government. This slavery later on led to progress, usually in a bad way, in some aspects. An example would be the blood diamonds that are used to fund terrorist activities.

In the past, meeting the needs of the many due to population explosion was an obstacle, but this was later on answered when machines were invented to provide a faster and more efficient production. But this too created a new predicament, as machines are now beginning to replace manpower since technology has also advanced. How can this be solved? How can people without jobs be helped? These are yet to be answered. But now, people are more concerned on how to get rich and richer.

Now through the course of time, by socialization, our situation has changed. The agents of socialization in various societies are influencing people both in good and bad ways. For example, the media can be bad by saying that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Why? Because most people are not aware of where and how these diamonds are mined and they are more than willing to buy these at any price! But, most of these diamonds are illegal, as portrayed in the movie, “Blood Diamond”. Because of the money involved in mining diamonds, the riches one could get in return have blinded many. They do not care if they have to do it illegally by maltreating and enslaving people, and possibly kill them; violating their human rights. This can become the enzyme in catalyzing change within a society to become greedy. Due to the responses of the people, situations that should have been banned because of illegality have carried on.

But on the other hand, the agents of socialization within a society like the media, again, can be of good influence. An example would be the advocacy on the present issue of global warming. It informs the public that actions should be made to prevent further depletion of our ozone layer. The Internet, for example, has sites that cater to this advocacy, specifically the official domain of the award-winning documentary “An Inconvenient Truth”. In this site, tips were shared on how an ordinary human being can help in the worldwide effort to prevent global warming. This encourages people to pay it forward: to their schools, workplace, and etcetera, to which they have influence on and can incur change. With this, history can possibly be made!

Speaking of history, how can something be called “history” or “history-making”? We can define something as “history-making” when it has made an impact for a long time. In a smaller scale, we can use our cellular phones as an example of something that is “history-making”. With this gadget, communication has been made accessible to almost all and convenient to many. Moreover, the invention of cell phones has made business transactions fast and efficient, as calling someone to close a deal can now be easily made everywhere you are. In addition to that, almost anyone can now purchase a unit!

In a larger scale, due to the impact of money and technology, and even of the agents of socialization such as the family, school, media, workplace, and peer groups in the society, it has incurred change and this era is now definitely part of history!

In both movies, the society still stands in the brink of poverty, wherein the rich are getting richer and poor being poorer and more problematic! An example would be the case of those people initiating the hunt for blood diamonds in “Blood Diamond”. They are the only ones getting rich and not the slaves.

It also shows that society stands in a “fully developed industrial age”, where people now begin to realize the consequences of being industrialize, as shown in “An Inconvenient Truth”. Even with technology so advanced, humankind is still incapable of answering its problems. The next stage or era would probably be the miracle age, which shall cure the illness this society has caused.

The state of families, which are essential components of society, has also been depicted in both films, either directly or indirectly.

In the case of “An Inconvenient Truth”, it shows the effects of global warming not only to one family, but the group of families constituting a society. Strong storms, intense heat, and depleting resources, which means lack of food and water supply, are only few of the products global warming can slap in the faces of the members of each family. The family that is implicitly depicted here, as said in one of the previous paragraphs, are careless with their actions, unlike in the previous periods when families were more precautious, which are probably due to the drawbacks or restrictions imposed by the society in which they are moving.

On the other hand, “Blood Diamond” shows that there are still families at the verge of poverty and slavery. Although surveys have said that poverty is decreasing, it still cannot measure how slum the situation of some in other countries especially in Africa. It goes to show that some areas are still hopeless and that helping one is not enough when somewhere else, people are still suffering. Before, progress seems to be felt by each member of the society, but now, having the said film as basis, progress is only felt by some members of the society; only those who get richer!

Men and women in society, according to the movies, are still different, therefore, not equal like in one of the films, which is “Blood Diamond”, where it showed a caste system wherein females were subordinates to males and that ethnicity was a criterion if you should be treated well or not. For example, the women in the tribe of Solomon Vandy were killed, while most men whom they think who were capable of work were left to survive, therefore they became slaves. In addition to that, women are still prioritized to be well taken care of, while men do the battling. Danny Archer sent Maddy Bowen home. Women were always told to escape. Second, color was a big deal as the film showed a socially stratified time. An example was when Vandy was referred to a “white” when he did not find the name of his family on the list of refugees.

Also shown was that women were now allowed out. Meaning, they can work now, and can produce the same amount of pollution men can make. The films also show, especially “Blood Diamond”, that the children are very important to their parents and that a son is most likely to be close to his father because the said parent is the person whom he can identify with.

It is also shown that family had the greatest impact on socialization, especially in behavior. This was seen as Solomon was trying to win back his son from the RUF. But this particular part of the movie also shows that peer groups (RUF) can greatly influence a person (Solomon’s son). Aside from this, the RUF taught their ‘young radicals’, as if schooling while they were terrorizing the place. They have brainwashed the children.

What types of men and women can soon prevail in our society then after seeing these movies? It may be possible that women can now be used for battle, which is slowly becoming true right now, as women now enroll in military academies. Possibly, women may also penetrate the jobs only done by men, which is evident right now in society, thus, they can really be considered as equivalent to men.

For men, they may become more authoritative. Pride will forever linger within the soul of a man. He will still more likely be in control, if things were to be based by experience. But women can overshadow men now, and for them not to be “shadows”, men may soon penetrate the jobs only done by women too.

As said in one of the above paragraphs, history can help us make the future better, by verifying what has happened in the past. Possibly, these things that are happening in present time, as shown on both films, can help us find the key to help us alleviate the crises. The problem is, there are too much answers to problems that we end up receiving nothing but bulk. We do not receive direct answers, which could indeed help humanity.

Today, the world population is estimated to be 6,602,224,175 , which is composed of 3,323,608,139 males and 1,156,245,827 females. With 20.09 births per 1,000 population and only 8.37 deaths per 1,000 population, the carbon dioxide emissions are still going up, more forests are expected to be denuded, and nonrenewable sources of energy are close to zero. But the UN and APEC have already considered future goals and actions to hopefully eradicate the issue.

Aside from that, we still have a socially stratified society, with people still thinking that if you are Asian, you are not as good as the Americans and Europeans. If you are fat, you are not beautiful. If you do not have big breasts, you are not attractive. And the list goes on, but this is now an open caste, wherein people can “change their position” at will and if they have achieved the “requirement”. The problem is, most can still not progress due to some factors that hinder their development. How can this be solved? Well, by not trying to be monkeys can be a good start. In addition to that, by not being like crabs that pull one another when one has achieved success. Moreover, by choosing influences, man can probably nurture a society wherein discrimination would be a crime; thus, it will be nothing anymore, but history— a problem solved!

     The round bosom of a woman, the plump ass of a man, the physique of both genders, and the body language that transcends through the highly sexualized character of contemporary culture all clothe the deadly sin known to be as lust.

     Different views and definitions have been expressed, and some vindictive pundits still admit that their ideas on the subject are still half-baked. But needless to say, people have formulated their own dictionary on LUST.

     Some say it is often mistaken for love wherein enticement is usually paired with. Some say it is the desire, the intense craving of the flesh in a raunchy manner.

     Simon Blackburn, a philosopher, defines lust as “the enthusiastic desire, the desire that infuses the body, for sexual activity and its pleasures for their own sake.”

     It may be through direct contact or perceptions developed through vivid imagination. A man or a woman may engage in intercourse, not out of love, but only to satisfy their pleasure of meeting the peak of their “excitement” that seem to fluctuate every now and then. Or they may find pleasure through erotic images they may visualize everywhere — from the media to their current location while reading this.

     Lust is furtive, usually lacking self-control and discipline. Now, sex drives much of our entertainment, advertising, and cultural conversation.

     People often sing songs with connotative meaning, suggesting acts not usually accepted by the used-to-be conservative world.

     Furthermore, we believe that necessity is the mother of invention and we now see advertisements on Viagra, virginity restoration, bust and nipple cream, adult toys for men and women, the stimulating vibrator, the enlarger, and the sex ring that seem to belong to the basic needs right now, and all of these enthuse most to please the unnatural desire.

     Lastly, sex just seems to be an over-a-cup-of-coffee topic that anyone can discuss, may he or she be young or old.

     It was said that temperance was designed to limit lust, but lust appears to have gained the upper hand now. Lust is sinful precisely to the extent that sexual desire and passion are stripped from this moral context. It is in contrast with love, which uses compassion over passion. It is the satisfied emotion unassociated with love. Finally, it is the term that is now analogous with the modern sketch of just being horny.

     Listening does not only imply hearing, it involves the five senses. Moreover, it is paying attention, observing events until you end up contemplating with yourself that may lead to an answer long lost. It may be a mystery to learn the true art of listening. It is simply inexplicable! But once we have found out how, it gives us wisdom — the understanding we believe is true, right, just, and lasting. And in the end, we realize that if we listen long enough, Mystery may offer us the wisdom we need to live.

     Life is like the sun. It follows a cycle of setting today and rising again the next morning, just like hope lost and then regained. Sometimes, we do not witness its awakening due to the weather, but then after a while, we just see a ray of light appearing amidst the sky, and then we notice the sun slowly and then in full bloom.

     It was three in the morning, hours before the burial of my father when my friends had bid me goodbye, embraced me tightly, and left a pat on my shoulder to say that they are always there to share the load of sadness I had inside. Tired and had barely slept for the past ten days, I feebly walked back to our garage, gazed up, and questions arose in my mind including, “Why was I even waiting for the sun to rise?”

     I may have had depression then, and I wanted to recover but it seemed impossible. Furthermore, my friends told me it would not be easy, but eventually, I would be able to overcome the trial because I was never a quitter. I found it difficult to comprehend why they had that impression on me. Maybe it was because they used to kid me as a frustrated debater — someone who was not able to join the debate team, but kept arguing until he proved his point.

     Pieces of advice were on my constant play list and I kept on listening to it, thinking that somehow it could alleviate pain until I just grew tired listening to it. Added earwax, I must say. But I applied some of the “suggestions to recover” in my everyday life, yet I still felt the same — a weakling hanging by a thread requiring only a small push and the life support is cut! Sometimes, I even answer back on why people had to keep on instilling the same advice in my head. But it was still no use…

     I often locked myself in my room, wondering how life would turn out for me when I leave for college in a few weeks. In addition to that, what would it be like to graduate without dad by my side to award me my medals and trophies and to be one of my greatest fans in the audience? For these reasons, I just did not know what to do!

     I felt that the sun went down on me and it seemed like life left me with no hope to recover. Furthermore, it gave me questions I did not know how to answer. Would I continue longing for the “cheer-up statements” of my father when I falter? Would a time come that I will never be contented with only having one parent? Would I entertain the thought of having a new father? I wanted to give up life for a moment, and then live it again once I feel I have found the reason to. But it was obviously implausible.

     I just continued waiting, not knowing what I was waiting for. Answers? Another lifetime? Probably for wounds to heal.

     Finally, I was able to find a cure, an answer, after days, weeks, and months had passed. Sometimes, if we do not know what to do, we do not have to do anything. And then, unknowingly, we learn about ACCEPTANCE. I do not remember what I did to acknowledge this thought. I simply remained still and know He is God until I felt the sun rising in me…

     At last after the long wait, it came in – growing all the while and a period of innumerable changes began. At first it was very difficult to see any change, but after a while the light of dawn washed the canvas of the sky, preparing it for colors soon to follow that shall develop more evidently: white migrating to yellows, and then blending into reds. Finally, the sky glowed as if on fire!

     It may have taken a lot of time and considerable concentration to wait for the sun to rise, but it was worth the effort, worth the hope! I must admit that it takes patience to see and appreciate the beauty of life. Perhaps there is no need to recover fast because obstacles must be taken in order for me to learn and become stronger — as a person, as an individual. Moreover, when there are times that I do not know what to do, I just simply have to do nothing, thus, keeping still and clinging onto God because He is like a manufacturer, He needs time to produce the best quality, the best thing for someone like me. And all that is left to do is to wait, pay attention to the things around, until I myself can unravel a mystery that shall enable me to gain understanding to continue life.

*** NOTE: This is a short story I passed during my high school… Some parts were omitted due to confidentiality. Grammar was not checked, so please, just bear with my mistakes.

Little Black Book

            Every person has his or her own opinion toward things happening in his life. Some may say that he is the one to blame or he is the one to be considered blameless, but as people continue to speculate, will the truth eventually be revealed?

            Evan is an active student. He is the president in his class and organizations. He even takes the seat as editor in chief in three publications in his school and a member of the Supreme Student Government. Furthermore, his zest and vigor in his activities enabled him to join various events outside campus.

            Everyday, Evan brings with him his journal— a collection of his articles, ideas, and daily escapades. He writes whenever he can; detailing every inch of a story to its very skeleton.

“High school life is a blur; a stressful surreal blur. Every time I go out for recesses with my friends, I always see factions; Groups that obviously share one common thing. Like the band geeks who dive into the very realm of drums and guitars and the immunized lovers who don’t seem to care about the people looking at them. I just don’t understand why should there be deviations among likes and dislikes, and interests and understanding…”

            Everyday is a brand new experience with fresh expectations. Mr. Thomas is the adviser of Evan’s class. If there would be a word to describe him, it would be — PERFECTIONIST.

            “Good morning, today we are going to elect our class officers. Please when you nominate your classmate; make sure that he is responsible enough for the tasks I’m going to assign. I am your adviser, I am Mr. Thomas. I now open the nominations for the class president, any nominations?”

            “I nominate Evans,” remarked Mandy.

            Mandy was a close friend of Evans. She was known for her singing voice in the campus. She once dominated a musical play staged in school after belting out a song. People were amazed, saying that she was a jewel to watch for on stage.

            “Okay, Evans has been nominated,” replied Mr. Thomas.

            “I nominate Gregory,” said a silent-type girl named Jayne.

            Gregory’s name was written on the chalkboard. And there were no more nominations made. Gregory was one of the best public speaker trained in school. He also has a kind heart that he gained a lot of friends.

            “The nominees need to close their eyes. After finalizing the result, you may open them and see who won the election for class president. So close your eyes now, and voters? Are you ready?” Mr. Thomas’ statements sounded official, as if it were such a big deal when either Evans or Gregory open their eyes, “Who votes for Evans?” and adrenaline rushed to Evans heart, and it beat fast “For Gregory?”

            Both candidates were nervous in their seats. Being class president was crucial because it could earn the student a lot of points if ever he won.

“Our new class president, Evans. Please take the floor and preside the elections,” announced Mr. Thomas.

Evans supervised the elections until the positions have been filled by people whom his classmates thought fitted Mr. Thomas’ descriptions to be the class officers for the school year.

            Mr. Thomas was also their class adviser last school year, and he has been working with Evans as his class president for two years already. Together, they worked to give the best they could show the rest who would be looking at the fruit of their labor. In turn they won as the exemplary class and even the best decorated room during Christmas time.

            Aside from these achievements, they organized the promenade last year. But despite these happy news, Evans and Mr. Thomas worked on different publications.

            Evans worked on “the Escapade”, the English school paper of their school, while Mr. Thomas was the moderator of the Filipino counterpart and both won awards at a press conference.

            They had a good working relationship— as president and an adviser. But Evans wanted to escape from his so-called “clutches”.

            “You know what Mandy, I do not want Mr. Thomas to be our adviser. It’s just that, I can’t seem to move when I’m with him. I just follow orders, and as a leader, I long for my own freedom, wherein I can show to you what I can do,” Evans said.

            “We can’t do anything about it now. He is already there, and we just have to bear with him for another school year,”

            “But why don’t you like him Evans? Is there something he did to you last year?” asked Rachel, one of his close friends.

            “Umm… I just think last year was a little bit unfair. Of course we all know that you’re together in one school paper and I’m the one left at the ‘Escapade’. I just didn’t like the idea of him checking our articles to see if ever we have the same topics. I think it’s unfair. You guys work like professionals,”

            “Professionals? What do you mean?” asked Mandy.

            “You guys always win at the press conference, and you guys are good. I know he revises the totality of your articles, but why does he need to check ours? Yes, I admit that our moderator does not do a better job than him but at least we are trained to put up a school paper. I just cannot see his purpose of checking ours.”

            “Maybe he just wants to help,” said Mandy.

            “Yeah. Knowing that you’re the class president, he probably would want to help his students to have a better school paper this time,” Rachel said.

            “Probably yes. But doesn’t he trust me enough? I was once part of your school paper and I give him credit for teaching me a little. If he sees we have the same topic, he said that we should take it out from our paper, because yours is already done with the lay out and all,”

            “He said he’s going to take them out?” questioned Rachel.

            “Yes! Of course, we will be having the same topics for the news section because it is obvious we belong to one campus! As a better school paper, can’t he think of other things? For us, we can’t anymore. The deadline is fast approaching, and we can’t make up some dumb news!” said Evans “if he’s trying to do something, he might as well admit it. He’s competing with me, a student.”

            “Don’t say that Evans. You don’t have enough proof about that,” remarked Mandy.

            “Yes I know. But I feel that way. Why would he be so strict with me? He’s probably angered with me, voted again as president,”

            “Let’s just forget about this first. I want to eat,” suggested Rachel.

            The days went on, and so far, Evans took his responsibilities as president well. He took charge of monitoring his co-officers, and reminding them of their tasks. He tried to be organized, after all, that is the best he could do.

            Mr. Thomas kept on assigning duties to the officers, and they found it hard to maintain a balance between their responsibilities as officers and as students. It’s either they flunked a test or passed with a satisfactory mark.

            A few months passed, and Evans seems to have grown tired of everything. He often had contests out of campus, representing a school that doesn’t seem to care; a school that only gives too little for an exemption.

            He began to let go of his responsibilities by giving it to Gregory, his vice-president. It was excusable though, because he had activities every now and then. But Mr. Thomas did not look at it as much of a valid excuse.

            “Evans, I need to talk to you outside,” Mr. Thomas said.

            “Ok sir”

            “Why weren’t you able to come up with the design for the batch shirt? This is such an easy job to do. The other section made the design, and you declined?”

            “I did not decline sir. I just said—“

            “No, as class president, you should have told anyone from the class to make a design. And you say that you don’t want to have those designs presented by the other section?”

            “Sir, I just said is there anyway to change the text or the position of this figure—“

            “No. If you don’t like the design, present to me a design this afternoon! You may go back to your class now,”

            Evans was embarrassed. He was yelled at in front of many classes outside their classroom. He was not the assigned person to come up with the design, and he was not even the one who declined. Clearly, he was accused of something he had not done.

            But this came to pass and the Christmas vacation came.

            Mrs. Dela Cruz was the adviser of the school’s Community Service Club. She was also the teacher of Evans. They, together with Evan’s other friends, went on a road trip that vacation period. The group became close, and it started a sort of clique.

            Evans named it— Tropa, a Filipino slang meaning troupe, group, or company. This friendship soon expanded.

            When classes resumed in January, Evans was in a good mood always. He had friends, and lots of them.

            The grades that time were not yet finished. Evans, knowing he was out almost all the time, panicked if he had missed quizzes or projects. He immediately sought the answers of his teachers, except for Mr. Thomas, whom he waited to be in their class that morning.

            “Evans, you only have one recorded quiz. Please see me at my office later,” Mr. Thomas said.

            “One? Is he sure?” whispered Evans.

The class went on, with him too preoccupied with that predicament. He approached Mr. Thomas that afternoon to consult about his lacking quizzes.

“Umm… Can you come back tomorrow?” Mr. Thomas said.

            Evans could not believe that he only had one quiz last quarter of classes.

            “I cannot believe this Mandy. It would be impossible! Why me? I also had companions who were with me during my competitions outside, but why weren’t they in the same position as me?” asked Evans.

            “Yes. I think you’re right. Stephen and Rhea were with you,” replied Mandy.

            “And I never had any contest without being with either of the two. This is impossible. I have yet to ask him this.”

            Two days passed, and Evans was not still taking any test to fill up for those he missed. He became worried. He was an honor student, and this was not something that he would be willing to just turn down.

            “Am I not exempted? After all, I have been representing the school? Or is he just favoring Stephen and Rhea more because those two are from his school paper?” thought Evans.

Every minute, he could not help but ask himself of all possibilities why he hadn’t taken the test.

            “I could have accepted if I were able to take two or three, but one? That is impossible.”

            Evans told this problem to Mrs. Dela Cruz, a teacher he considered as a friend. At the back of his head, he wanted to approach the directress and ask about how he would deal with this problem.

            “You can go to the directress about that Evans. Confirm the dates with her, and go to Mr. Thomas. Just to make sure you’re excused,” she advised.

            Evans listed all the dates he could remember in which he was excused. He then went to the office of the directress to confirm.

            Minutes later, he was called by Mr. Thomas.

            “I think something bad is going to happen,” he said to Mandy.

            “Evans, what is this? You went to the directress?” shouted Mr. Thomas.

            “Yes sir,” he replied.

            “Why? Just for the tests? You should have come to me.”

            Evans was humiliated at the Faculty room. He was being shouted at for reasons he never intended to give. Moreover, those reasons were never his, but Mr. Thomas’.

            Evans, after the sermon, went immediately back to the classroom, looked for Mandy and Rachel, and cried his anger.

            “I never had any intention to humiliate him to the directress. I just wanted to confirm the dates of my activities outside. Of course, I was excused. At this point, who would’ve not wanted to be exempted from those tests?” he defended.

            “What did he do to you?” asked Rachel.

            “He shouted at me in front of all the teachers in the faculty room. All, who were there, heard it. And I feel so embarrassed!”

            “What else did he say?”

            “He said that I was too smart, that for just these tests I missed I already went to the directress. I thought to myself, why shouldn’t I? If I hadn’t talked to the directress about this, would he let me take the test or better, exempt me?”

            The three friends talked until Evans was calmed. After one subject, Mr. Thomas called for him again and shouted. All his classmates heard it, and Evans just looked down, determined not to look at anyone of them.

            He was again humiliated. And they had another meeting after class.

            “Evans, I never expected you could do this to me. You’re saying that my record is not credible…”

            “Sir, I don’t think that it isn’t credible. I’m just saying that am I not excused at all from those quizzes?”

            “I cannot excuse you. It would be unfair to your other classmates. Somebody said to me that you said why were Stephen and Rhea able to take the tests? Because they were able to,” Evans was silenced. “Evans, don’t compare your grades to them. If you are saying that I am giving them favor because they are part of my school paper, no, I am not. I’ve already told Stephen and Rhea about this and they were shocked. Mrs. Dela Cruz told me that even if a student doesn’t like a teacher, he or she must still respect him because he is still his teacher. So I guess, you don’t like me. And because of this, I don’t like you too. Most of all, I hate you. You can now leave.”

            Evans left with a heavy heart. He was uncertain, unsure of his surroundings. Was he telling a lie? What would Stephen and Rhea be thinking of him? He immediately went down, determined not to start a conversation with either of the two. He was shy; probably uncertain if they would be worthy of his trust.

            He didn’t even come close to talking to Mrs. Dela Cruz; a person he would be so willing to pour his heart out. He avoided her… for a while.

            “Teacher, he talked to me again”

            “What did he say?” Mrs. Dela Cruz inquired.

            “He said he hates me. He said that you said that even if you don’t like a teacher, you should still respect him because he is still your teacher. Is he just making up his own conclusions? And he’s using you? Did you talk to him teacher?” Evans said.

            “No, it’s true that I said that. But I was not pertaining to anyone. It was in general,”

            “I’m really getting confused. Teacher, I’m in a point where I don’t know who to trust because everyday, there seems to be a leak in conversations that I make with people,” expressed Evans.

            “You know, Evans, you just have to ask God for help and guidance. You really have to choose your battles, and the best way for you to do is just to remain humble. Keep silent. This time, you will know who your true friends are,” said Mrs. Dela Cruz.

            Evans accepted this idea, thinking it was the right thing to do. He tried to smile, even if it were just a phony one. He mingled with his friends, but still unsure of them. He was thinking of who could’ve been the leak…

            But this just came to pass as well, and Evans was able to see who were true to him. Moreover, he was able to take the test and passed the quarter with flying colors.

            A few days have passed, and wounds seemed to have healed. Both have exchanged smiles, but deep inside Evans was a speculating heart… a contemplating mind.

            It was during an achievement test when Mr. Thomas has yet again had something important to announce to class.

            “Good morning! Today is very important. You know that you’re already graduating and one of the awards one of your classmates will receive will be for the Outstanding Youth,” explained Mr. Thomas “and you’re going to be the judge of that by voting one of your classmates whom you think is active; has good grades, is a good example to other people,” he continued.

            Everybody has had an idea of whom to vote, and then:

            “Do not vote for those people who have a lot of clubs. Very OA. Overacting! Don’t vote for those who are not balanced with their studies. You know, people who are irresponsible. Go for those who are balanced,” Mr. Thomas further explained.

            Everybody wrote a piece of paper, folded it in half, rolled it, and continued answering. After everyone was through with the test, Mr. Thomas announced the four students who got the highest votes from both their section and the other.

            “Okay, before leaving, I would like to announce first the nominees as a result from the votes from your class and the other section. They are Rhea, Evans, Gregory, and Erika from the other section,”

            The nominees were pleased, after their classmates applauded them.

            “Now that we have known our nominees for the Outstanding Youth, I am going to get the votes from your teachers to determine the one who will receive this award on your graduation day,” Mr. Thomas paused.

            “The one who got the highest votes is not very good. But oh well, we have yet to see if this person wins the award. There’s also one nominee here who just got votes from this class. Again, we have yet to wait if this person wins. The achiever will receive a certificate and a cash prize and I guess more prizes,” explained Mr. Thomas and he quickly dismissed the class and stepped out of the room.

            Evans received a text message from Mrs. Dela Cruz, stating the she needs to see him now at the Speech Laboratory. Evans, on the other hand, immediately went out to talk to her.

            “How was the test?” Mrs. Dela Cruz asked.

            “It was okay. I didn’t take it seriously. I was a little bit disappointed a while ago,”

            “Why? You know what Evans, I heard something at the Faculty awhile ago,”

            “What is it?”

            “You know, your adviser, Mr. Thomas, mentioned something about this award…”

            “Yes I know about it. We already had already cast our votes. I am one of the nominees,”

Mrs. Dela Cruz and Evans talked sincerely. Evans admitted about what Mr. Thomas said in their room, saying that it was he that Mr. Thomas was pertaining about whom he wouldn’t want to give the award to. He said, “among the nominees, who would be the one most active? Who would be the so-called “unbalanced”? Me, right?”

But then, he was calmed when Mrs. Dela Cruz said that she would be loyal to him because she believed in him. It renewed his strength, but the anger from what Mr. Thomas did before was reawakened. He then concluded that he has not forgiven after all; the man he thought was already fine with him.

            He didn’t understand why Mr. Thomas had to do that. Was he bearing grudge on him? Has he not gone over that school paper issue? Was he not yet done with the t-shirt thing? In fact, all those issues were too shallow, that Evans couldn’t believe his teacher was making such a big deal out of it.

            Was it because he went to the directress? Clearly, Mr. Thomas made his own conclusions up. He even used other people’s names just to make Evans feel fear…

“As if he were God. What’s ten years got to do with it? Is his head growing big?” Evans thought.

The winner was soon announced and it was Rhea. Evans immediately approached Mrs. Dela Cruz and he found out something he had not expected to happen.

“He asked the votes of the teachers one by one, as if he were persuading them whom to vote. You know, Evans, I proudly said I would vote for you. Even your adviser in the school paper. She said she chose you because you were her right hand. Moreover, he was tensed while counting the votes, and he did not show it to us. Not one,” Mrs. Dela Cruz said.

Evans was shocked. He paused for awhile, about to cry because of how his teachers stood up for him.

            “At this point, I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know how teachers perceive of me. In the first place, I knew I had the highest votes. People from the other section admitted that they voted for me. His descriptions of the person he said undeserving to win the award… well it all hit hard on me. This is so unfair.”

            Mr. Thomas looked as if he was spitting venom right behind people’s back. Once, Evans told his problem to Mrs. Fernandez, his school paper adviser, Mr. Thomas immediately scolded him and then left a conclusion to whom else would Evans share it with. It was the predicament about the one-recorded quiz last quarter.

            Moreover, many teachers thought he was taking Evans as his rival— a student who has yet to learn a lot compared to him. Some say, “because Evans has achieved more while he is still young. His ideas are somewhat comparable to Mr. Thomas’. To think, he single-handedly made the school paper and in turn, he won two awards for it.”

            Things were getting out of hand and Evans slowly understood everything. He learned that there was a teacher who was going to resign because of him; because of the silly cheer dance he made such a big deal of.

            He learned that he was trying to oppress Mrs. Dela Cruz because of the small reason of his student giving her a pasalubong. Moreover, because she was close to some of his students that he became jealous. Issues have piled up, and he keeps on making new ones; airing his mind out in the faculty and in front of students. Everything he did was behind his enemies’ back.

            Evans even got confidential text messages saying that Mr. Thomas got jealous of the prom organized by Mrs. Dela Cruz because all had fun that time, compared to the one he helped organized last year which was close to a disaster. Furthermore, he admitted that he hated Mrs. Dela Cruz. From then on, Evans and Mrs. Dela Cruz had the evidence they needed.

            But they wanted to settle things. Those may be too shallow issues, but it was important to maintain unity in the faculty, as well as in the batch.

            Evans was a graduating student and his school was holding spiritual retreats for them as part of their tradition. Evans saw this day as a perfect avenue to air his side. And thus, the time came and Evans felt nervous. His hands were shaking, sweat trying to break out, and he began to feel cold. But the words locked in him were hot, and it needed to dissipate…

            “Sir, I am still thinking if you are worthy of forgiving. I must admit that I am still angry with you. I do not understand why you have to make conclusions up, use people, and hurt not only me, but other people as well. I don’t understand why you make such big deal out of shallow reasons like the pasalubong issue. Sir,” Evans continued “I must say that I am really angry. I remembered you texting me that we would be working together as your class president, but then you’re still leaving me behind. There are things that I still don’t know, and I needed to be guided, not to be controlled. Not because you trust me so much, you’re just going to let me go. Whatever is my mistake is yours too; after all, you are my adviser.”

            “I never had any intention to hurt you, but you are. Remember that time when we voted for the outstanding youth, weren’t you pertaining to me? I heard that you kept the results of the votes to yourself, is that what you call credibility? When the time you said to me that I was questioning your credibility, wouldn’t that be enough proof? When I went to the directress, I went to confirm dates, not to exempt myself right away nor humiliate you. I don’t know what’s in me you dislike so much. Is it because I don’t let you hold my neck? Maybe that’s why I am a leader, because I stand up to my convictions. I have my opinion in things, and I do not always go with the flow.”

            “Sir if there’s anything I really wanted to say, it would be: act your own age. People are hurting because of you. You make such a heavy atmosphere every time you speak. You are unfair. Is it because you feel that you are superior just because you already reached ten years in school teaching? You know sir, you were never my friend, you were just my educator, and a good one,”

            Evans then left the room, and he did not bother to hear what Mr. Thomas had to say. People were shocked, some understood. All the while, Evans kept silent about the situation, not giving away his side of the story.

Evans had no intention to hurt anybody. All his experiences he wrote on a black journal — a collection of his articles, ideas, and daily escapades; detailing every inch of a story to its very skeleton.

            “This night, I aired my emotions. I wanted to settle things, and I wanted people to know what I am going through. I hope they understand. I know I have hurt Mr. Thomas in a way, but it is incomparable to what he did to me. He is terrorizing not only me, but also other people, my friends. I may have said a lot a while ago, but I must say that there is still much to confess, much to reveal, many for people to find out. But I choose to remain silent, and keep those little things to myself, until one day I can relate that experience to a good one, which may be hard.”

            Evans kept writing, until he made a story about the whole experience. He renamed the characters and made it in such a way that people would understand his side. Everything was kept in his journal, a little black book, which had all his secrets in tacked.

—– THE END —–

To hell with them…

I was in a hurry to do research on Harry Potter (for a persuasive Speech I have to make) because I only had an hour to do it before I go to my class again. But what happened?

Well, some morons just sat on a computer without loggin in first. I was there for almost half an hour, waiting, and my name was already listed! Grr!

I don’t know how things really work here. After all, I’m just a freshman… A person supposed to be treated as a ‘weakling’.

Lol! I don’t want to be stereotyped. Honestly, I don’t care about frats. I don’t care about them even if I know some of the people they’ve recruited…

I don’t know why they try to act as if they own the world. Perhaps it’s freedom of expression? I don’t think so. Who cares if you have so-called brothers to back you up when you want to punch someone so bad? Isn’t that cowardice?

I’m just soo mad after that ‘minor incident’. I just thought of writing about it… Wishing some people change… Haha… I might wish for a century. Never you mind. I just wanted to write something!

I would wake up every Tuesday and begin traipsing the steps to the house of my professor after breakfast. He taught “The Meaning of Life” as a subject and his name was Morrie. Everything he shared in class was based from his experiences. Moreover, no grades were given, but I had oral examinations and one long paper to write on what I learned throughout the curriculum.

            I was made aware of a lot of things because of him, like paying attention was more important than almost everything people taught us in college. I had so much respect of the man. I valued his teachings and thought he was the father everyone wished they had.

            I once gave him a tan briefcase and he told me I was one of the good ones. I credit him for the success I have achieved — all due to the teachings of having a meaningful existence.

            The last class of my old professor’s life had only one student. I was the student and my name is Mitch.

            “Siya ang aming iboboto dahil tinulungan niya kami noong kinailangan talaga naming ng pera kaya’t iboto mo na rin siya” was the statement a family friends of ours kept repeating during the last senatorial elections. We do not know if she was paid for what she was doing, but her campaigning actually did help and persuade some who were undecided and fickle-minded. While all these people got influenced and remained hopeful even in candidates they do not really believe in, they are making a grave mistake: They are unsure of whom they gave their precious one vote to. If only those who ran for the senate had no records of being wicked, then it would not be much of a problem. Now that the eleven senators have been proclaimed, these questions arise: “Were they worthy? Would these people help alleviate the crises present in our country?”

            So far, seven from the opposition ticket were proclaimed, namely: Loren Legarda, Chiz Escudero, Panfilo Lacson, Manny Villar, Noynoy Aquino, Alan Peter Cayetano, and Antonio Trillanes. There were also two each from the administration and independent candidates: Joker Arroyo and Edgardo Angara, and Kiko Pangilinan and Gregorio Honasan. Of course, it would be too early to say if they were worthy of their position. But basing from these facts, it is clear that majority came from the Genuine Opposition party. Does this mean that change will happen? Perhaps, yes.

            There is no use doubting their educational attainments and their other achievements. After hearing various predicaments in different regions in the archipelago, I believe that they are smart enough to incur change — a good one that is. But they are also humans; capable of making mistakes. But whatever blunders they make, we must give them a chance, thus, feeling they were worth the ink of the pen in the ballot. Change does not happen in an instant. Let us all hope these new senators can alleviate our problems.

Still adjusting. Yes, it is indeed difficult. A sudden shift from a private school to a prestigious university was a culture shock for me! From a life close to my family, to a life kilometers (around 137, I think) away from them, I have grown into a new person. Probably still the same, but pressures have caused change to my well being.

Yes, I now say “profane” words (Puta, and all). I prefer calling it as a disguise I have to use because of my need to shun myself from a certain disturbance I sort of face everyday. But what the hell, I think that is what I have to do just to escape it.

People may not understand the change I have to undergo, but I don’t care. It doesn’t mean it can completely proliferate in me, as a human being! (How judgmental!)

Yes, I ride the HH. It’s probably the only mode of transportation here in UP, unless you catch the jeep early. But yeah. I sort of had the fascination of waking up early just to catch the jeep. It’s far better than riding the bumpy HH.

O yeah. Big deal. So what if you topped math right now? Have I suddenly gone popular? I mean who cares. I came here to study, not to make a fool of myself. Well, that’s what I think as of the moment. Don’t oppose me.

Yeah. Topping something does give you fame. People now recognize you… sometimes saying you should have taken Applied Math instead. Waah! What a compliment, but thanks by the way. I now understood what my old friend, Jesse, in high school felt. I still wish I had his brains though… Hehe… A transplant might have done the work a long long time ago..

O yeah. What if I have a new set of friends? I study in a university, don’t I? So why make such a big deal out of it? Who cares if we don’t socialize any longer? I call the reason: DUMB LOGIC. Figure it out for yourself.

O yeah. So what if I write about it in my blog? Nobody could probably stop me, unless they try to bribe me with something as equally important as publishing this entry in the Internet. Come on, give me a break. Have a life.

I might have gone used to the “who cares” attitude here in my new school. But I have to admit, things have changed after topping the math exams, and having a new set of friends (a shift from the old ones? Not all, I think.)

But hey, I’m completely in awe and in constant admiration and anticipation of my AH class. Nothing. I just feel I learn so much in this class compared to the SSP3 class I dread almost everyday! MST2? Far better than SSP3— it’s still my nap time though. Still have not changed, I’m sorry. French class? I think it has become more interesting than before (now that I have brought with me a French book!) Math? I still want to try to perfect his exams the next time he gives it. I guess I’m more determined now in Math compared to before. PE? I still find it as a waste of time, but hopefully, I’d enjoy this class pretty soon. Filipino? I still can’t stand the fact that he looks like my former Filipino teacher whom I truly dislike!

O yeah. Let me tell you about a misunderstanding I had with someone the other week. Okay, I might blame my childlike behavior for the mishap, but it all boils down to her overly sensitive feelings. She asked me what the assignment was and I told her, “ayoko” in a childlike manner. When the class was finished, I approached her and said “let’s go na, sabay tayo uwi ‘di ba?” She just ignored me, as if I never existed. I got fed up. I never wanted to be treated like this, and I decided from that day on that I shall never be the one to make the first move to make a conversation with her again. I’m noticing something oddly different the past weeks too, but I’d rather keep that reason only to myself and some friends I think could relate. And oh, I left her alone, while I went home earlier than she did. What a boast of laughter! Am I evil to do that? Na… I think it’s just a dose of her medicine.

And yeah, since then on, I made new friends and I frequently went with them through my subjects. (thanks jewel, marsi, max, quincy, and the rest. I can’t still figure out the correct spellings of your names.)

Anyhow, too much of the update, I’d rather save the rest of my thoughts for next time. But I’m still adjusting… But enjoying the process!

A Habal- Habal Ride

“Pray unceasingly when riding HH!”

            Whatever that meant I don’t care. I have never met an accident before in my countless rides on a habal-habal.

            Every school day, I ride one going to my first class “on top of a hill”. Wearing any comfortable clothing I desire, I just walk out of the dorm, after logging out, and whoosh! I cross the road to find myself an HH.

            A five to ten minute bumpy ride was way much better than having to walk. All you need was a five or seven- peso coin to pay the driver.

            Tuesdays and Thursdays mark a long, long day for me. Loaded, I must say. First up is MATH11.

            I used to hate math. The formula and all the numbers and shapes that surround it, makes my head ache. But here in UP, I am able to tolerate an hour and a half of its dosage! How come? Let’s just say, math here is like a review of what I learned in high school and I wish it would continue till next semester or the following years in college.

            Daily, I take two HH rides. One going up, and one going down. I seldom ride jeeps because it eats up most of my time. Right after math is PE. Hmm… Enjoyable may have been my first impression, but once I sat in class, I said, “No way!” It was pure lecture all throughout. It drowns me to sleep. We may have a little activity on the side, but those were strenuous, not to mention some of it were also painful!

            Right after PE comes my Filipino Class. Yes, it was easy to follow, but something seemed to be haunting me! Not that high school nightmare again? Yes, my professor looked like the ‘smurf’ teacher I had before. Common things? The subject they teach, the height, the hairy features, and all the rest that I could see! Damn.

            After an hour and a half of reminiscent nightmare, comes lunchtime. It was an hour late than my usual, but I learned to adjust. And I’d eat the most sumptuous meal I could find, and if I don’t seem to like any of it, I settle for a little snack— Chips and Iced Tea, well, I often do that during breakfast.

            After eating, I trace my way back to the dormitory. I either sleep or study. There was no use staring at the ceiling for three and half hours! But I found it important recently as it was the key to regain my sanity.

            My last class is at 4PM. Dreadful, boring, and too hard to memorize would be the proper words to describe it, as of the moment. But tolerance is a must in SSP3. Understanding it would be a plus. Moreover, memorizing and learning it by heart could garner you a grade of 1.

            Shheesh! And the long day is over, and I always opted for an early dinner and sleep. But sometimes, studying gets on the way of that ‘leisure time’.

            I always wake up at least two hours before my class so I won’t have to wait too long for my turn to take a bath on a small cubicle. I frequently chose the first one, I don’t know why.

            And then I dress up, log out, eat, and then take another HH. My first class every Wednesdays and Fridays is MST2. It takes place in a cold room and oftentimes, we had film viewing. I blamed Geology in the UPCAT because it was the part I know I had no answers. And we’re taking it up in MST2? How much torture do I have to get?

            After MST2 is FRENCH10. In high school, I take up Chinese. And when I got to UP, I found it difficult to fix my accent. But still, I was able to ace my first quiz, with a little bit of help from Chinese “ngo-ngo”.

            AH1 comes next and the last load I have to endure. In this class, we write a lot… Really! And if ever we were late, we’d receive a few minutes of shame. Some have already tried on the spot accapellas in front of the class, which were truly embarrassing if you were not gifted with a golden voice.

            And here comes my favorite time during Fridays— My most anticipated day! This signals my departure from the “abnormal world”. I go home weekly, and this is my chance to relax and live temporarily away from the stressful life in UP…

(((((((((((The Unedited Version)))))))))))))))

JS PROM ‘07. February 10 at Phela Grande Amethyst Ballroom.

To begin, it was better than last year (with complete honesty!). I must say, the ‘dancing at the ballroom’ was a first. We were used seeing us just sitting the whole prom, but this year totally made a difference. This was my last promenade with friends and teachers. I really had a great time, well not to mention having ’stiff’ people around us… I tried not to mind it much. Haha! Despite the small space, I believe it was a good venue. Moreover, I think the best way to have a good prom is just to make sure that everybody is having fun… Just like what this prom did to us.

Anyway, I delivered my speech that night around eleven in the evening. It was for the turning over of the key of responsibility. A lot of things had happened I dare not to elaborate, but I must say that the speech I delivered was a little bit personal.

My teacher told me that I spoke from the heart, which was true. For the last time, I felt that I commanded the audience when everybody was listening and looking at me. Furthermore, that speech contained pieces of advice, experiences, and an apology.

My friends looked at the person I would most likely love to listen. He was probably irritated of me. But hey! As they say, I was legally my classmates’ choice. I felt happy delivering my speech. People listened as I took my time in speaking. The warm applause enveloped every part of me, as if nervousness has, once and for all, dissipated into thin air.

I spoke what was in my head. I told them how I understood the responsibilty when I was first elected as president. And then, I quoted a "wise person" whom others think was not at all sincere with everything. Probably, he had the wrong motives… But still, I dedicated a part of my speech to him, to let him know that he is still appreciated in a .0000000001 percent of my memory.

And when I got down from the stage, I received the comfort that I needed. Reactions from friends and people of a good speech. For 349 days, the key was displayed in my room. It was an emblem of a heavy responsibility I had on my shoulders and at the same time, proof that I held a position so high that it was difficult to live with it.

I do not understand why people have to deny the fact that something is really wrong. I do not understand, as well, the need to pull down other people. Moreover, I do not understand why in the world would someone be so mad when everything seems to be settled. Jealousy? Perhaps.

I don’t need sympathy. I need sincerity from the person who ruined it all for me. But now as I look back, he is nothing but a speck of dust.